Thursday 26^th of June: The Grantchester Crawl

Meeting in The Green Man (Trumpington) at 1pm (or at Silver Street Bridge at noon).

Three pubs in Cambridge, with four bonus pubs in Grantchester outside the city limits, visited.

• The Green Man (55 Trumpington High Street)
• The Duchess of Cambridge Hudson’s Ale House (77 Trumpington High Street, near Beverley Way)
• The Lord Byron (22 Church Lane, Trumpington)
• The Green Man (59 High Street, Grantchester)
• The Red Lion (33 High Street, Grantchester)
• The Rupert Brooke (2-4 Broadway, Grantchester)
• The Blue Ball (57 Broadway, Grantchester)

Directions:

• The Green man is on the east side of Trumpington High Street, which is on the left as you head out of Cambridge. This is quite a long way, so either start early or consider motorised transport.
• Turn left out of the Green Man, south along the High Street. The Duchess of Cambridge (formerly Hudson’s Ale House (formerly the Tally Ho)) is on the left, a little way down. Update: as of 2025 this pub appears to be Hudson’s Ale House again.
• From the Duchess Hudson’s, cross the High Street and turn right, the head left into Church Lane. The Lord Byron is on the right.
• Prepare for a long walk to celebrate finishing the crawl of genuine Cambridge pubs. Turn right out of the Lord Byron, southwest down Church Lane, then west on Grantchester Road. Stay on Grantchester Road as it winds and turns into Mill Way, then Grantchester High Street. As the road splits, “Vera The Green Man” is on the right — the Green Man was a long-standing pub that’s been closed for a few years but seems to have reopened as a somewhat posh establishment, but if they let you in, go for it. Don’t mention the time Pete Keevash got kicked out for emptying vineger sachets into the condiments saucer.
• From the Green Man (or after passing it if they think you’re too scruffy), follow round to the right. The Red Lion is very nearby on the left.
• Turn right out of the Red Lion and return to the High Street, then turn right. Follow the High Street round to the right as it turns north into Broadway. The Rupert Brooke is on the right.
• Turn right out of the Rupert Brooke north along Broadway. The Blue Ball Inn is on the left.
• To head back to town, turn left out of the Blue Ball, north along Broadway. Broadway becomes Grantchester Road; veer right at Selwyn Road and left onto King’s Road to cut a corner before hitting Barton Road (this is famously a long walk and typically an opportunity for singing rude songs). Veer right on Barton Road, follow around to the left for Newnham Road, cross the roundabout and turn right at Silver Street to get back to the town centre. Alternatively, it is possible to walk back from Grantchester alongside the river, if one prefers stepping in cow pats and cattle grids in the dark to being run over. There is no obvious curry opportunity, but there’s no way go get back in time for one either — the only option is a taxi from the Blue Ball.

Thursday 19^th of June: The Cherry Hinton Crawl

Meeting in The Red Lion (20 Mill End Road, Cherry Hinton — not Grantchester) at 7pm.

6 4 pubs visited.

• The Red Lion (20 Mill End Road)
• The Robin Hood (1 Fulbourne Road, crossroads with Queen Edith’s Way, Cherry Hinton Road and Cherry Hinton High Street)
• The Queen Edith (Wulfstan Way)
• The Dumpling Tree (59 Perne Road) — The Dumpling Tree was closed except for takeaways
• The Rock (200 Cherry Hinton Road, by the junction with Blinco Grove) — The Rock was closed for maintenance
• The Earl of Derby (129 Hills Road, between Brooklands Avenue and the bridge over the railway)

Directions:

• You can get to the Red Lion by taking Regent Street out of town south onto Hills Road, going past the station, turning left at the junction with Cherry Hinton Road, continuing to the crossroads with Fulbourn Road and Queen Edith Way, taking the left onto Cherry Hinton High Street, then taking the left again onto Mill End Road — in which case much of this crawl will look familiar when you do it backwards. You can also get there by going down Mill Road to the big Sainsbury’s on Brooks Road/Barnwell Road/Coldham’s Lane, take Coldham’s Lane southeast to Cherry Hinton High Street (mourning the Rosemary Branch), turn right to head southwest down the High Street (mourning the Five Bells), turn right onto Mill End Road (mourning the Unicorn), and entering a pub that’s still there. You could also get a taxi, although make sure you’re not taken to the Red Lion in Grantchester, because that’s next crawl.
• Turn left out of the Red Lion and head to the High Street, mourning the Unicorn if you haven’t already done so. Turn right to head south and cross the road. The Robin Hood (formerly with Little John but they seem to have broken up) is on the left just before Fulbourn Road crossroads.
• Leave the Robin Hood and head to the opposite corner of the crossroads. Head southwest onto Queen Edith’s Way and keep wandering until you find Wulfstan Way on your right. Head north, and you’ll find The Queen Edith on the right. Last time I went there it was much nicer than it used to be.
• Turn right out of The Queen Edith (once you’re back at the road) and head north along Wulfstan Way until you reach the end, which is Cherry Hinton Road. Veer left and cross over, passing the shops and the roundabout to head north on Perne Road. Cross over and you’ll find the Dumpling Tree. If you find the web site maintainer’s old house, you’ve gone too far. The Dumpling Tree has historically been the Med, the Master Mariner, and closed on inconvenient occasions; good luck.
• Leave the Dumpling Tree and turn right to head back down Perne Road to the roundabout, then turn right to head west along Cherry Hinton Road (if you hate the traffic you can also turn left out of the Dumpling Tree and left again to cut the corner via Lichfield Road). At some point you’ll want to be on the south side of Cherry Hinton Road, so cross over when you can. The Rock is on the corner of the crossroads with Blinco Grove, and I don’t think answers to “Dwayne”. If you get to Rock Road you’ve ironically gone much too far.
• Turn left out of the Rock to head west along Cherry Hinton Road, crossing at your convenience (which may be some traffic lights). When you reach the junction with Hills Road, turn right to head north, crossing the railway bridge and passing the Junction (unless you prefer ten pin bowling to crawling). If it’s gone horribly wrong there’s a Travelodge. Anyhoo, once the road returns to ground level you should find the Earl of Derby on your right, near the traffic lights for Brooklands Avenue. If you work out what “Cambridge power signal box of excellence” is, do let me know.
• If you’re just retuning to Cambridge, head north along Hills Road. For a curry, you really want to reach Mill Road, which the brave could do via Warren Close and the less brave can do by going down Hills Road to Station Road and turning right. Either way, take Tenison Road north off Station Road and keep going until you get to Mill Road (a T-junction). Turn right, head towards the railway bridge, don’t accidentally cross it, and the Curry Queen will be on your right and hopefully open. If not, at least you’re opposite the White Swan.

Friday 30^th of May: The Chesterton Road Crawl

Meeting in The Carpenters Arms.

4 pubs plus one not-a-pub visited.

• The Carpenters Arms (182 Victoria Road, by French’s Road)
• The Boathouse (Chesterton Road by Mitcham’s Corner, opposite Croft Holme Lane)
• The Tivoli (16 Chesterton Road, by the Boathouse)
• The Portland Arms (129 Chesterton Road, near where Milton Road meets Mitcham’s Corner) — closed due to power outage
• The Waterman (32 Chesterton Road, junction with Victoria Avenue)
• Thirsty Cambridge (46 Chesterton Road, near the eastern bifurcation of the Mitcham’s Corner gyratory) — debatably not-a-pub
• The Alcademy (56 Chesterton Road, on the corner of Trafalgar Road, maybe) — still not extant

Directions:

• The Carpenters we-don’t-need-no-stinkin’-apostrophe-except-in-this-bit Arms is on the north side of Victoria Road, more or less as North as it goes which describing a graceful inverted version of the Nike logo. Aim for the Histon Road Cemetary and pick the south east corner, since the north west corner is the Tandoori Palace, and if we wanted to have convenient access to a curry house we’d be doing this crawl in the more conventional order (blame the Alcademy). If you can’t find Victoria Road, head up Castle Hill, then keep turning right when you get to the big set of traffic lights. If you find the Grapes, you’ve missed.
• Turn left to head east along Victoria Road, ance once you reach the one-way system of Mitcham’s Corner, veer right to head south. (Note: The Portland Arms is more directly ahead, but is a longer walk; crawl attendees who don’t read instructions have been known to bifurcate here before.) Cross the road and veer slightly east to find the Boathouse on the south side of the road.
• One of the most complicated sets of directions on any crawl, leave the Boathouse (from the north end) and turn right. The Tivoli is on the right. Apparently these days it contains a golf course. Bear in mind you’s not ending up near a curry house if you want to partake (but they also do food, if that doesn’s bother you).
• From the Tivoli, turn right to head east and cross Mitcham’s Corner at the pinch point by Lloyd’s Bank. The Portland Arms is at the southern tip of what is technically the A1134.
• From the Portland Arms, head east and cross Mitcham’s Corner again, this time at the other end of the bit of green space. Watch out, there’s a cyclepath about. The Waterman is on the south side of the road at the corner of Victoria Avenue. At one point this was the Jolly Waterman, at least in name, although it may have been affected by the web site maintainer’s mood while writing this.
• You’re now out of pubs, but that doesn’t mean you’re out of beer. Turn right out of the Waterman and cross Victoria Avenue to continue heading east along Chesterton Road, alongside yet more of the one way system. “Thirsty Cambridge’ is on the right. It describes itself as “our independent bar & bottle shop”, but it does appear to offer the ability to sit there and have a pint, and in this day and age, who are we to complain? Well, me, obviously.
• Technically at this point people should move on to The Alcademy (part of The Othersyde, in a manner which seems unclearly branded). This did get the go ahead to do something since last year, but it is not yet clear that it is open, or indeed a pub, so it might be appropriate to send an enthusiastic runner a few steps to the east along Chesterton Road to see whether this is still the case, before resorting to leaving known beer in Thirsty.
• Ah, curry. There seem to be take-away options on Milton Road near Mitcham’s Corner, but typically one might want to sit down after such a strenuous evening of drinking. Retracing the crawl route up Victoria Road to either Meghna (on Victoria Road, where the Blackamoore’s Head used to be, I believe) or to the aforementioned Tandoori Palace might work, but both close at 10pm so you’ll have to get a shift on. Continuing to Castle Street and heading down the hill will give you the option of the Maharajah (on the corner of St Peter’s Street), which claims to be open until 10:30pm and sometimes actually is. Alternatively, especially if walking up a hill seems like a bad idea, one could, from the end of the crawl, simply turn left and walk along Chesterton Road to the zebra crossing near the Job Centre, then use the bridge to cross the Cam, where one might find the Jesus Green public toilets if caught short (and observe that they closed at 8pm). Take the footpath between the avenue of trees (not by the toilet, that was misleading) so you have the tennis courts on your right. At the end you’ll hit Portugal Street, along which one can continue past the Maypole, noting how inconvenient it is that you can’t take a short cut through the Park Street car park. Once you’ve got all the way to Bridge Street, turn left and head through the passage that divides the Baron of Beef from the Mitre to find the Curry King, which purports to be open until midnight, although given the length of the walk you might want to phone ahead to confirm this. If the back route scares you, it’s not that much farther to keep walking along Chesterton Road westwards until you reach the crossroads with Bridge Street and head south from there. You may bemoan that the trek to sweet sweet lassi is somewhat shorter if the crawl is run in the traditional order.

Friday 9^th of May: The Station Road Crawl

Meeting in Smokeworks (Station Road).

6 pubs visited.

• SLINGERS Smokeworks (1-3 Station Road, at the junction with Hills Road)
• Old Ticket Office (Unit 1, Cambridge Railway Station, by the M&S)
• Station Tavern (1-2 Station Square, next to the station)
• The Salisbury Arms (76 Tenison Road, by Wilkin Street)
• The Live and Let Live (N.B. Cash only?) (Mawson Road/Cross Street)
• The Six Bells (Covent Garden, junction with Mill Street)

Directions:

• The “SLINGERS Smokeworks Station Road” is, oddly enough, on Station Road, which is the road that leads to the (train) station. If you’re heading out of town southeast along Hills Road, turn left at the first significant lights once you’ve got past the Lensfield Road crossroads and the Thing On The Corner That Goes Dong (The Church of Our Lady of the Assumption and the English Martyrs; the assumption presumably being that people can cope with long church names). Anyway. The Smokeworks is very near the corner with Hills Road, and hopefully you know what to do, although you may wish to save a brief frisson at the rumoured return of the Flying Pig. Don’t confuse this Smokeworks with the one on Free School Lane, or you’ll have a long walk.
• Turn left out of the Smokeworks and head towards the station (the clue is in the name). As you head down there, you’ll pass the Clayton Hotel, which you‘ll not recognise as the alternative venue where the Club Dinner didn’t happen in 2023. Just before buying a ticket, turn left, pass the M&S (not that one), and the Old Ticket Office is on the right, in the station building.
• Turn right out of the Old Ticket Office. See that pub? That’s the Station Tavern.
• Turn right out of the Station Tavern onto Station Square (north), then head left on Great Northern Road (west), passing Sainsbury’s. Veer right onto Tennison Road, then keep heading vaguely north (there’s a slight wiggle) until you find the Salisbury Arms on your left, at the corner with Wilkin Street. If you hit Mill Road (or even Felton Street) you’ve gone too far.
• Turn left out of the Salisbury and head (slightly north-)west along Felton Street. Turn right at the first junction (Mawson Road), and you’ll find the Live and Let Live on the left just before the crossroads with Cross Street. You may or may not be able to use a card to pay for drinks.
• Turn left out of the Live to continue north(ish) along Mawson Road. Turn left onto Mill Street (not Mill Road — or Mill Lane) and the Six Bells is on the corner of the T-junction with Covent Garden.
• You want a curry, obviously. Turn right out of the Bells onto Covent Garden heading north, and the next junction you find that’s not Mill Street is Mill Road. There you can turn right to head southeast out of town, and the Curry Queen should be waiting for you on your right, opposite the White Swan and shortly before the railway bridge. Most of Cambridge can be reached by going the other way (northwest) along Mill Road, which will bring you to the corner of Parker’s Piece. If you’re still lost, you’re also near the police station, and can ask — but remember you can’t trust a special like an old time copper if you can’t find your way home.

Friday 21^st of March: The Abbey Crawl

Meeting in The Bird or Worm?

5 pubs visited.

• The Bird or Worm? (122 Newmarket Road)
• The Wrestlers (337 Newmarket Road) — The Wrestlers described themselves as a “food pub”, which I think was a mispronunciation of “restaurant”, and sounds like they want to be non-placeted again
• Engineer’s House (Riverside, files.dark.wiser)
• The Green Dragon (5 Water Street)
• The Haymakers (54 High Street, Chesterton)

Directions:

• Head out of town along East Road. At the roundabout, keep right. You might note the former Rose and Crown as you do so. The Bird or Worm? is on the right, soon after the roundabout.
• Leave the Bird or Worm? and cross the road, continuing east along Newmarket Road away from town. Pass the Corner House (pub) and Seven Stars (former pub); the Wrestlers is on the left, just before Cheddars Lane (aka the entrance to Tesco).
• Leave the Wrestlers turning left, then again onto Cheddars Lane, heading northwest alongside Tesco. Turn left to the back of Tesco, then the footpath to the right to head northwest to the river. The Engineers House is on the right by the river, possibly behind a hedge, and is a new pub (hopefully). If you end up in Cambridge Museum of Technology you’ve probably gone wrong.
• Turn right out of Engineers House along the riverside path, heading northeast. Pass the first bridge over the river, but take the second one, which is Green Dragon Bridge and a clue to the fact that the Green Dragon is near the end of it.
• Leave the Green Dragon by turning right, taking Water Street west and following it to the right onto Fery Lane (northwest). Turn left onto Chesterton High Street and follow the main road as it wiggles to the left (particularly, not accidentally entering Church Street). The Haymakers is on the left opposite Union Lane.
• Good luck finding curry. Sorry.

Saturday 15^th of March: The Town Centre Crawl

Meeting in The Regal at 7pm.

7 9 pubs visited.

• The Regal (38-39 St Andrews Street, under the Art’s Picture House, next to the Castle Bar)
• The Castle Bar (37 St Andrew’s Street) — bonus pub
• The Cambridge Tap (32 St Andrew’s Street, corner of Downing Street)
• The Pint Shop (10 Peas Hill)
• Brewboard — bonus (pop-up) pub
• BrewDog (15 Bene’t Street)
• Smokeworks (Tap bar) (2 Free School Lane)
• The Bath House (3 Bene’t Street)
• The Eagle (8 Bene’t Street)

Directions:

• The Regal is on the southwest side of Regent Street, opposite some of Emmanuel (but not the entrance). It’s big, which may or may not mean you can get served. The Baptist Church is to its south if you need to pray for directions.
• Turn left out of the Regal to head northwest along Regent Street, passing the Castle Bar (not the Castle Inn, which, unlike the Castle Bar, is by the castle) and remembering that it’s Not A Pub (and nor is All Bar One) — and the Wagamama and Nando’s, remembering that they’re Not A Curry House. Opposite the entrance to Emmanual you’ll find Downing Street on your left, and The Cambridge Tap on that corner. There used to be a Rat & Parrot where R-there exists-volution currently is, although it wasn’t really a pub either (but we visited anyway).
• In 2025 CUTwC did visit the Castle Bar, which had real ale on tap and may therefore be a pub again. Welcome back.
• Turn left from the Tap and head west along Downing Street (on which Downing isn’t). Cross the road near “Bar-OH”, which could possibly once have been Quinn’s and the not-very-nice start to the typical Freshers’ Crawl, but is now also Not A Pub (what it is is a little obscure, based on looking at their website to try to find out why they were named after a hydroxide ion; they do have the largest infinity mirror lamp shade I’ve ever seen, though). Take Corn Exchange Street northwest, ideally without getting flattened by anything. (You can avoid some of the traffic by going under the hotel by Bar-OH and emerging from the car park, but I’m not going to tell Google that.) At the end of Corn Exchange Street, be thankful that you don’t have to visit the Red Cow, because it was unpleasant, and turn left past the actual Corn Exchange. The Pint Shop is on the left, just before it would be opposite with Peas Hill.
• Leave the Pint Shop and turn left twice quickly to be in BrewDog. This is the theme for the rest of the crawl.
• Apparently a “pop-up” pub called Brewboard had appeared between the Pint Shop and BrewDog.
• The order of the next two pubs was altered to accommodate a six-nations match. Turn left out of BrewDog and head left down Free School Lane. You’ll have passed the Bath on your right; don’t worry, we’ll come back. Smokeworks is on the left (if you’re in a Porter’s Lodge you’ve gone too far), and it has a “Tap” bar, which apparently we’re calling a pub. This used to be the Eraina, which used to have an enormous menu of vaguely passable food, a strategy since outsourced to the Cheesecake Factory.
• Turn right out of Smokeworks, right onto Bene’t Street, and cross the road. The Bath (occasionally Bath House, occasionally Bath Ale House for anyone accidentally ending up in a meeting hall on Mill Road) should be obvious and in front of you, especially since you passed it a minute ago.
• Turn right to leave the Bath and stay on the same side of the road. You might like to note that on your left is St Bene’t’s Church, sometimes confused with St Botolph’s (which originated the “...since 1320” terminology used by CUTwC); St Bene’t’s is even older. Despite the name, it’s not from Yorkshire. More importantly, the Eagle is on your right, and is also very old.
• Obviously you want a curry, which is inconveniently distant. Turn right from the Eagle then right again onto King’s Parade, which is the clue to where you’re going. Go past King’s Chapel and Great St Mary’s onto Trinity Street (through the road furniture), and continue up Trinity Street without getting hit by any cyclist who ignores the one way system or tripping on the cobbles. At the end (after St John’s), turn left onto Bridge Street and cross the road, potentially noting that the Round Church is on the right if you’re feeling this crawl should continue being theological. There are two entrances to the Curry King, but the obvious one is to go down the alley between the Mitre and the Baron of Beef. Then enjoy curry.

Friday 7^th of March: The Mill Road Crawl

Meeting in The Brook at 7pm.

6 5 pubs visited.

Attendees: Jack, Adam, Emmy, Ally, Harley.

• The Brook (25 Brookfields, by the roundabout with Perne Road)
• The Royal Standard (292 Mill Road, opposite Belgrave Road)
• The Empress (72 Thoday Street, junction with St Philips Road)
• The Earl of Beaconsfield (Junction of Mill Road and Great Eastern Street)
• The Devonshire Arms (1 Devonshire Road)
• The White Swan (107-109 Mill Road, corner of Kingston Street)

Directions:

• The Brook is on the south west corner of the junction between Brookfields Avenue (the continuation of Mill Road) and Perne Road. Essentially head down Mill Road out of town until you can’t go any further, then head into the nearest pub rather than going to Sainsbury’s. You can start by bemoaning that the Mill Road pub crawl used to need to be split into the Yon, Hither and Mid versions because there used to be a lot more pubs, not that all of them were very nice.
• Stay on the south side of Mill Road and head west towards town. Do not deviate, for We Aren’t Here To Enjoy Ourselves. The (now Royal again) Standard (a resurrected traditional pub) is on the left. Actually, now we can deviate and Enjoy Ourselves, because there’s extra time allowed for ordering Greek food.
• From the Standard, walk straight north along Belgrave Road, then take the first left onto St Philip’s Road. After passing a couple of roads, the Empress is on the right, on the corner of Thoday Street.
• Head south down Thoday Street until you hit Mill Road, then turn right. The Earl of Beaconsfield is shortly before the bridge over the railway, so you shouldn’t miss it.
• Note: Apparently people did miss it: the Earl was closed, apparently permanently.
• Turn right out of the Earl, and cross both the bridge and the road, probably not both at once unless you like getting run over. The first left is Devonshire Road, which is A Clue to the fact that the Devonshire Arms is down it (on the right, a little away from Mill Road; if you hit a bend you’ve gone too far).
• Return north to Mill Road; on the opposite side of the road, on the west junction with Kingston Street, is the White Swan. You know what to do.
• If you have an interest in curry, and who wouldn’t, you will notice that the Curry Queen is almost opposite the White Swan, which is what we call convenient. Turn left from the Queen, or (if you must) right from the Swan to head northeast along Mill Road and you should be able to find Parker’s Piece, Reality Checkpoint, and the rest of Cambridge, or the police station if you’re really lost.

Saturday 22^nd of February: The Laundress Green Crawl

Meeting in The Red Bull at 7pm.

7 pubs visited.

• The Red Bull (11 Barton Road, by the junction with Hardwick Street)
• The Granta (14 Newnham Terrace, near where Newnham Road runs alongside water)
• The Mill (Junction of Mill Lane and Granta Place)
• The Anchor (12 Silver Street, beside the Silver Street Bridge over the Cam)
• The Town & Gown (8 Market Passage) — arguably not a pub
• The Mitre (Bridge Street)
• The Baron of Beef (19 Bridge Street)

Directions:

• The Red Bull is on Barton Road, by St Mark’s Church (if you’ve not yet learned to identify churches by what pub they’re near). You can get there from Selwyn (or Robinson) by heading south along Grange Road, then turning left on Barton Road to head back towards Cambridge (and crossing the road). Visitor from other colleges may get here by crossing The Fen Causeway or heading south down Queen’s Road and following Barton Road out of town. The Red Bull is convenient for tournaments at Selwyn, so be nice to them.
• Leave the Red Bull and turn right (unless you leave by the back, in which case turn left a couple of times first to get back onto Barton Road) to head east along Barton Road, and follow the curve of the road northeast. When you get to the roundabout, don’t turn right onto Fen Causeway, and instead continue northeast until the road (by then Newnham Road) turns north; at that point you should have the Granta (and the Mill Pond) on your right. I recommend going in and buying a drink, since this would be a bad time to hire a punt.
• From the Granta, head back south (straight out of the door) along the west edge of the Mill Pond, and continue skirting the Mill Pond as a footpath bends east (left); stay on the path (and don’t fork right) to head northeast across some greenery known as Coe Fen, watching out for cow pats. When you reach the path beside the Cam, veer left to head north until you reach the weir, and turn right to cross the Cam, ideally without falling in and having a tournament named after you. The Mill is on the corner of Mill Land and Granta Place, straight ahead of you. Tourists may be interested to know that Laundress Green is apparently the tiny patch of greenery immediately above the weir. Don’t get distracted by this and forget to buy a drink.
• Leave the Mill (I appreciate this may be hard). If you find yourself facing the river, turn right; if you took the other exit, veer slightly left. You’re aiming for Laundress Lane, which is a northward pedestrian path partly protected by bollards and only slightly looks like you’ll get mugged (being hit by a bike is more likely). Once you reach the end, turn left, but only a bit because the building to your left is the Anchor, and your destination. Sadly you’ll have to walk a little west along Silver Street to find the door, but if you reach the bridge you’ve gone too far, so it shouldn’t be too challenging.
• Leave the Anchor and turn right to head east along Silver Street, noting parts of Queens’ College to your left (including the tower which once housed Dr Sage and the Erasmus Room, long-time home of CUTwC). You can either listen to Google and follow Silver Street to the end (this giving you a chance to face St Botolph’s Church, formerly on the south gate of Cambridge and dating in parts to 1320, this being the origin of the “worst Committee since...” phrase), then turn left to head north along Trumpington Street along the east side of St Cat’s, or you can do the traditional and more urine-smelling approach of keeping Queens’ on your left to head north onto Queens’ Lane between Queens’ and Cat’s, then veering right to head east onto King’s Lane between King’s and Cat’s, which will also bring you to Trumpington Street (at which point you should turn left to head North and the routes have joined up). The latter route is more useful for avoiding tourists, but that may not be a major issue by evening. Continue north onto King’s Parade (passing Bene’t Street on the right — don’t worry, the Eagle et al. are on another crawl, and yes, we did consider it). After passing King’s (on your left), turn right to head east onto St Mary’s Street, opposite the Senate House; you will be heading clockwise around Great St Mary’s. Continue along the north of the market as Market Street veers slightly northeast (don’t get distracted by Gardie’s), but do head left to veer north-ish onto Market Passage (with what was once the Eaden Lilley department store on your right). Veer right (east-ish) as Market Passage does so, and the Town and Gown will be on your left. This may come as a surprise to those who remember the Town and Gown as a former name of the Punter (and Camptown Races), but I wouldn’t hold that against it.
• Turn left from the Town and Gown to continue east along Market Passage, then turn left to head north along Sidney Street. If you’re doing it right, after a bit you’ll notice Sidney Sussex college on your right, and Sainsbury’s on your left. At the north end of Sidney Street (now heading northwest) continue onto Bridge Street. You then have a straight route (although you’ll want to be on the northeast side of the road) onto Bridge Street (St John’s will be on your left, eventually; the Round Church, which is a round church, will be on your right). The Mitre is on the right, just before the passage apparently called Blackmoor Head Yard (which is odd, because the Blackamoore’s Head was on Victoria Road); astonishingly Google Maps is slightly confused about where it is, but the front door is probably the way to go (in). Hopefully you’ve worked out what to do having reached a pub by now.
• As you may have noticed when you reached the Mitre, the next bit is very complicated. Leave the Mitre, and the Baron of Beef is the pub that you’ll walk into if you head north. It’s probably better to use a door, though. Celebrate the end of the crawl, especially if you can find a seat.
• No doubt at this point you’ll be seeking something complicated. Good news: if you’re after a curry, you can turn left out of the Baron (if you’re on Bridge Street, do it again but better to head between the Baron and Mitre). After a walk to the northeast that involves you not going as far as the car park, you should find the Curry King, almost definitely on your right but hopefully you can work it out by now.
• Return southwest to Bridge Street to find civilisation; the town centre can be found by backtracking, but hopefully you know where you are, or if you don’t then my directions aren’t going to help you.

Saturday 8^th of February: The Castle Hill Crawl

Meeting in The Grapes at 7pm.

6 pubs visited.

Attendees: Jack, Jody, Hilary, Emmy, Abby, Petroc, Alice, Finley, Elaine (all pubs).

• The Grapes (19 Histon Road, near Victoria Road)
• The Sir Isaac Newton (84 Castle Street, near Mount Pleasant, on the corner of the entrance to car parks)
• The Architect (formerly the County Arms) (43 Castle Street)
• The Castle Inn (36 Castle Street)
• The Punter (3 Pound Hill, corner of Northampton Street)
• The Pickerel Inn (30 Magdalene Street, opposite Magdalene College)

Directions:

• Note: The Travellers Rest is no more (at least temporarily, but may get turned into hotel rooms), so you have an excuse not to have a healthy walk down Huntingdon Road almost as far as the city limits, or “home” as it may be known to Girtonians. Absolved from this demand, merely head out of town up Castle Hill, likely passing several of the pubs you will later visit, until you get to the large traffic light junction with Histon Road/Victoria Road. Turn right towards Victoria Road, then left onto Histon Road, then left into the Grapes, and roughly straight ahead to the bar to buy beer.
• Turn right out of the Grapes and return to the traffic light cluster where Huntingon Road hits Castle Hill; cross to the southeast to head down the hill. The Newton is on the left. Bonus marks for taking the short cut through the car park instead.
• Leaving the Newton, turn left to head down Castle Hill, and cross the road. The Architect is on the right.
• Leave the Architect and cross the road, continuing to the right to head southeast down Castle Hill. The Castle is on the left, just after the actual castle. You could reasonably switch the order of the Architect and Castle, but this is slightly more linear.
• From the Castle, cross back over the road and head southwest down the side of the Architect along the pedestrianised Whyman’s Lane. Turn left onto St Peter’s Street Way, then right onto Pound Hill, heading southish. Follow Pound Hill as it curves southeast; the Punter is on the left at the corner of the junction with Northampton Street.
• Head left out of the Punter and east along Northampton Street. Cross the road at your convenience, and when you get to the traffic lights at the bottom of Castle Street, turn right to head southeast onto Magdalene Street. The Pickerel is on the right, shortly before the bridge over the Cam.
• You are now conveniently close to the Curry King, so it seems churlish not to partake. Turn right out of the Pickerel and head southeast, crossing at your convenience. After a mini roundabout, you’ll see the Baron of Beef and the Mitre on your left; head between them, and you’ll find the Curry King. Continuing along Bridge Street and possibly veering right at St Johns Street will get you to most people’s definition of an obvious bit of Cambridge and hopefully a way home.

Saturday 1^st of February: The King Street Crawl

Meeting at The Corner House at 7pm.

7 pubs visited.

• The Corner House (231 Newmarket Road, junction with River Lane)
• The Burleigh Arms (18 Newmarket Road, opposite Christchurch Street)
• The St Radegund (129 King Street, junction with Jesus Lane)
• The King Street Run (86 King Street)
• The Champion of the Thames (68 King Street)
• The Cambridge Brew House (13 King Street, near Malcolm Street)
• The Maypole (20A Portugal Place, by the former Park Street car park)

Directions:

• From the Corner House, head west down Newmarket Road, potentially note the Rose and Crown that has been a solicitors’ rather that a pub for the last few years but still has signs on it on the corner, and take the underpass. The optimal route is to go straight across the gap under the roundabout and turn left at the end, which will take you to the north side of Maid’s Causeway. Keep heading west (not down Elizabeth Way; we don’t have a Fleur de Lys any more), passing the Bird (occasionally In Hand) which is possibly currently Navadhanya, and eventually find the Burleigh Arms on the right, just after a church, which was at one point a little ironic given ecclesiastical policies on inclusion.
• Turn right out of the Burleigh and continue west along Maid’s Causeway, crossing the road at your convenience. The Zebra and the Ancient Druids used to be found on the left, but sadly neither are still pubs. Boo. At the roundabout, keep to the left and cross Short Street, taking King Street just after the Methodist Church. The St Radegund (occasionally spelt Rhadegund and possibly being unbeatified, depending on where you look), hopefully now resurrected, is on the right. Historically it’s tiny; let’s see what they’ve done. Apparently Radegund is the patron saint of Jesus College, which is nice. Traditionally this is where one would start the King Street Run of consecutive drinks in consecutive pubs in a hurry, which explains the next pub name.
• Veer right out the the St Radegund and cross King Street as you head west. The King Street Run is on the left.
• Turn left out of the King Street Run, and left again into the Champion of the Thames (after a very short walk).
• Turn left from the Champion of the Thames and continue west along King Street. You will be passing New Court of Christ’s on the left, at which you might want to doff a cap to the founding location of CUTwC. You should also cross the road, because the Cambridge Brew House is on the right, just before Malcolm Street.
• Turn right out of the Brew House. Sadly the Cambridge Arms is no more, so one must resort to turning right to head north up Malcolm Street, then left onto Jesus Lane at the end. Turn right at the traffic lights (having crossed the road) to follow Park Street northwest. Eventually you’ll reach some road furniture which should stop a car passing, and you too, because the Maypole will be on your left.
• Historically there would be an exciting route from here to the Curry King that involved going through the car park — but the car park now isn’t one. You should be able to pass along the north of the Maypole along the pedestrianised Portugal Place (west), then turn left to head southwest along Portugal Place until you hit Bridge Street. (If that doesn’t work, bypassing Portugal Place and turning left onto New Park Street, then heading northwest until you can turn left onto Thompsons Lane and following that southwest to a roundabout on Bridge Street would also work, but be longer.) Head southesast by turning left onto Bridge Street, then turn left onto Blackmoor Head Yard between the Mitre and the Baron of Beef; the Curry King, which given the name of the crawl you obviously want, is on the right. If for some reason you don’t want curry, continuing down Bridge Street will bring you to civilisation if you don’t feel you’re already in it.

Thursday 23^rd of January: The Arbury Crawl (redux)

Meeting at The Fort St George from 7pm.

6 pubs visited.

• The Fort St George (near Victoria Avenue, on the river at the corner of Midsummer Common)
• The Old Spring (Between Hamilton Road and Ferry Path, near Chesterton Road)
• The Milton Arms (205 Milton Road)
• The Golden Hind (355 Milton Road, junction with King’s Hedges Road)
• The Ship (Northfields Avenue, by Cameron Road and Aragon Close)
• The Carlton Arms (53 Carlton Way)

Directions:

• Make your way to the Fort St George. This is on the river at the corner of Midsummer Common near Victoria Avenue, by the pedestrian bridge which links to Pretoria Road, and at the junction of several paved paths across Midsummer Common. Since we are not, for once, doing this crawl on the evening of the fireworks, it will not be the pub with the enormous queue of people buying beer and waiting for the fireworks.
• Cross the pedestrian bridge and either head up Pretoria Road (then left at the end onto Hamilton Road) or veer left past Peterhouse Boat Club onto the Ferry Path, depending on which is muddier. Either way, head north, and before reaching Chesterton Road you should see the Old Spring on the left. You can test the web site maintainer’s theorem that getting a drink here will be much less painful when it’s not on the fireworks evening.
• Leaving the Old Spring, having presumably achieved beer, head north up Hamilton Road to Chesterton Road. Cross the road, without getting squashed by the traffic, and veer slightly left before heading north up Herbert Street. (If you can’t tell left from right, you can go right and turn north up George Street instead.) These tend to be a bit dark, so don’t twist an ankle (or go the long way round Mitcham’s Corner if you are paranoid). At the end you should be able to turn right to head northeast along Milton Road; cross whenever you find it convenient. The Milton Arms is on the left, quite a long way up (you will have crossed a roundabout and some fairly major traffic lights with Arbury Road en route). By this point expect to be damp, and not in a good way.
• We’ve gone back to the old crawl route, so this bit is easy: turn left out of the Milton Arms and continue northeast along Milton Road. You’ll eventually meet the crossroads with King’s Hedges Road, and find the Golden Hind opposite you on the north corner. Hopefully you can work out what to do.
• Leave the Hind and turn right, heading northwest along King’s Hedges Road, crossing at your convenience. Historically, when the Jenny Wren was a thing, we’d take a left into Campkin Way and wiggle around to it — there is a Tesco Express near that site now. You could still choose to do that, which involves an exciting walk through unlit pathways by Nuns Way Pavilion, or you can stay on King’s Hedges Road and get there via Kirkwood Road instead. In either case, head to the west edge of Nuns Way Recreation Ground (there’s a footpath which is more obvious in daylight) and, passing north of the Nuns Way houses, follow the footpath southwest alongside Cameron Road. The Ship will eventually appear on the right — you may choose to enter via the car park if you can avoid being tempted by a kebab, or walk around.
• From The Ship it is probably least confusing to exit onto Northfield Avenue, which is the road, but not field, to its north. Head southwest until you have the option to turn right at a mini roundabout, onto Sackville Close. Immediately turn left onto Roxburgh Road to conitnue southwest. Continue onto Hanson Court, then the footpath which leads to Arbury Road. Turn right to head northwest, then take the next left onto Mere Way. Keep heading southwest, traditionally for long enough to wonder whether you really should just have had five pints to drink, and Mere Way eventually turns into Carlton Way. Eventually the Calrton Arms will appear on your right, to the northwest side of the road. If you get to the traffic lights with Gilbert Road you’ve gone too far.
• The obvious curry uses a taxi (and traditionally failing to check that it’s open), but the spry may note that continuing south along Carlton Way, crossing Gilbert Road and onto Stretten Avenue, will eventually get you to Victoria Road; turning right will get you to Castle Hill, wherein there is curry. You could also cut a corner by continuing onto St Lukes Street and taking the footpath (before St Lukes turns into Magrath Avenue, past Citibase Cambridge and The Octagon, not the one in Reading) through Castle Park, at least I think. If all else fails, there’s a nuclear bunker there.

Saturday 23^rd of November: The Sturton Street Crawl

Meeting in The Dobblers Inn at 7pm.

7 pubs visited.

• The Dobblers Inn (184 Sturton Street, junction with Fairsford Place)
• The Geldart (1 Ainsworth Street, junction with Sleaford Street)
• The Alexandra Arms (22 Gwydir Street, junction with Milford Street)
• The Cambridge Blue (23-25 Gwydir Street)
• The Petersfield (2 Sturton Street)
• Calverley’s Taproom (23A Hooper Street)
• The Kingston Arms (33 Kingston Street)

Directions:

• The Dobblers is a little in the middle of nowhere, but you could try walking along Mill Road until you get to Kingston Street and the White Swan, head north past the Kingston Arms, jink to keep heading north past the Petersfield, and keep an eye out on your right. Which is basically this crawl backwards. You could also get there by aiming at the Blue Moon from East Road, veering left onto St Matthew’s Street, then right onto Vicarage Terrace.
• Head south from the Dobblers past Milford Street, then turn left onto Sleaford Street. The Geldart is on the right, at the junction with Ainsworth Street and (opposite) York Street.
• This pub crawl unfortunately requires a lot of backtracking; this is where it starts. Turn left out of the Geldart to return west along Sleaford Street, then turn right to head back north along Sturton Street. This time take the left to head west on Milford Street. The Alexandra Arms (occasionally just the Alex) is on the left just before Gwydir Street.
• Leave the Alex and head south along Gwydir Street. The Cambridge Blue will, after a bit, be on your right (the west side). Be nice to them, they’ve hosted a lot of winks events in the past.
• Turn right out of the Blue to head south along Gwydir Street, then take the left onto Hooper Street. Keep going past Kingston Street through the road furniture, and you’ll find the Petersfield on the left, on the corner of Sturton Street (remember that?) and Hooper Street.
• Turn left out of the Petersfield and head east along Hooper Street. Turn left at the very end into the taproom of Calverley’s Brewery.
• From Calverley’s, head back west along Hooper Street past the Petersfield, and turn left just after the Hooper Street road furniture to take Kingston Street south. The Kingston Arms is on the right about half way down, although for some reason Google Maps at the time of writing thinks it’s on the left as well.
• Obviously you want a curry, so turn right out of the Kingston Arms (unless it actually has moved) and head south along Kingston Street to Mill Road. Note the White Swan on the right, which will be useful in a later crawl, but cross over (mind the traffic coming over the railway bridge) and head to your right (west); the Curry Queen is on the south side of the road, nearly opposite the Swan. If you unaccountably don’t want a curry, or if you’ve just finished eating one, keep going in this direction and you’ll get to Parker’s Piece.

Tuesday 5^th of November: The Arbury Crawl

Meeting at The Fort St George from 6:30pm, or at least having finished your drink by the end of the fireworks that start at 7pm.

6 pubs to visit.

Due to poor attendance (just Jack) it was decided that this crawl should be void, and rescheduled.

• The Fort St George (near Victoria Avenue, on the river at the corner of Midsummer Common)
• The Old Spring (Between Hamilton Road and Ferry Path, near Chesterton Road)
• The Milton Arms (205 Milton Road)
• The Golden Hind (355 Milton Road, junction with King’s Hedges Road)
• The Ship (Northfields Avenue, by Cameron Road and Aragon Close)
• The Carlton Arms (53 Carlton Way)

Directions:

• Make your way to the Fort St George. This is on the river at the corner of Midsummer Common near Victoria Avenue, by the pedestrian bridge which links to Pretoria Road, and at the junction of several paved paths across Midsummer Common. Since we are doing this crawl on the evening of the fireworks, it will be the pub with the enormous queue of people buying beer and waiting for the fireworks; therefore, don’t turn up late. Unlike the olden days you have electronic means to find each other, which is good because finding a table may be a challenge. If in doubt, wait near the pedestrian bridge over the river to watch the fireworks, to beat the rush across the river when they finish. Gawp at the fireworks and try not to get too soggy in the rain. Traditional responses are “ooh”, “aah”, “bloody hell that was loud” and “why is some oik stinking out everyone within fifty yards with a cigar?” Another traditional response would be “my, what a nice bonfire” but that seems to have been replaced with the chance to rant about someone who decided it wasn’t conducive to air quality. Possibly the oik with the cigar.
• Cross the pedestrian bridge promptly when the fireworks finish (when you’re allowed to), because otherwise the imminent beer buying process will be incredibly tedious, and either head up Pretoria Road (then left at the end onto Hamilton Road) or veer left past Peterhouse Boat Club onto the Ferry Path, depending on which is muddier and less full of people. Either way, head north, and before reaching Chesterton Road you should see the Old Spring on the left, which will almost definitely be full of people even if you followed the instruction about leaving early. Enjoy the dichotomy that (if the weather remains as predicted at the time of writing) it will be full of wet people while you have to wait ages to get a drink. You may take this opportunity to reflect on the fact that this is a stupid evening to do the Old Spring and the web site maintainer has been pointing that out for years. Yay tradition.
• Leaving the Old Spring, having presumably finally achieved beer, head north up Hamilton Road to Chesterton Road. Cross the road, without getting squashed by the traffic, and veer slightly left before heading north up Herbert Street. (If you can’t tell left from right, you can go right and turn north up George Street instead.) These tend to be a bit dark, so don’t twist an ankle (or go the long way round Mitcham’s Corner if you are paranoid). At the end you should be able to turn right to head northeast along Milton Road; cross whenever you find it convenient. The Milton Arms is on the left, quite a long way up (you will have crossed a roundabout and some fairly major traffic lights with Arbury Road en route). By this point expect to be damp, and not in a good way.
• We’ve gone back to the old crawl route, so this bit is easy: turn left out of the Milton Arms and continue northeast along Milton Road. You’ll eventually meet the crossroads with King’s Hedges Road, and find the Golden Hind opposite you on the north corner. Hopefully you can work out what to do.
• Leave the Hind and turn right, heading northwest along King’s Hedges Road, crossing at your convenience. Historically, when the Jenny Wren was a thing, we’d take a left into Campkin Way and wiggle around to it — there is a Tesco Express near that site now. You could still choose to do that, which involves an exciting walk through unlit pathways by Nuns Way Pavilion, or you can stay on King’s Hedges Road and get there via Kirkwood Road instead. In either case, head to the west edge of Nuns Way Recreation Ground (there’s a footpath which is more obvious in daylight) and, passing north of the Nuns Way houses, follow the footpath southwest alongside Cameron Road. The Ship will eventually appear on the right — you may choose to enter via the car park if you can avoid being tempted by a kebab, or walk around.
• From The Ship it is probably least confusing to exit onto Northfield Avenue, which is the road, but not field, to its north. Head southwest until you have the option to turn right at a mini roundabout, onto Sackville Close. Immediately turn left onto Roxburgh Road to conitnue southwest. Continue onto Hanson Court, then the footpath which leads to Arbury Road. Turn right to head northwest, then take the next left onto Mere Way. Keep heading southwest, traditionally for long enough to wonder whether you really should just have had five pints to drink, and Mere Way eventually turns into Carlton Way. Eventually the Calrton Arms will appear on your right, to the northwest side of the road. If you get to the traffic lights with Gilbert Road you’ve gone too far.
• The obvious curry uses a taxi (and traditionally failing to check that it’s open), but the spry may note that continuing south along Carlton Way, crossing Gilbert Road and onto Stretten Avenue, will eventually get you to Victoria Road; turning right will get you to Castle Hill, wherein there is curry. You could also cut a corner by continuing onto St Lukes Street and taking the footpath (before St Lukes turns into Magrath Avenue, past Citibase Cambridge and The Octagon, not the one in Reading) through Castle Park, at least I think. If all else fails, there’s a nuclear bunker there.

Friday 1^st of November: The Prospect Row Crawl

Meeting in The Clarendon Arms at 7pm. The President requests hallowe’en costumes.

7 pubs visited.

• The Clarendon Arms (28 Clarendon Street)
• The Elm Tree (Orchard Street, Elm Street/Eden Street, opposite the Cricketers)
• The Cricketers (Melbourne Place/Prospect Row)
• The Free Press (Prospect Row)
• The Tram Depot (Dover Street)
• The Duke of Cambridge (Adam & Eve Street/East Road)
• The Blue Moon (2 Norfolk Street, junction with Staffordshire Street)

Directions:

• The Clarendon Arms is, helpfully, on Clarendon Street. One way to find this is to head down Regent Street until you find the University Arms hotel. This used to be a big building that looked a bit like the Kremlin, but now appears to have gone a bit classical. If you find a cycle path crossing Parker’s Piece (RIP Pizza Hut), you’re slightly too far south, because you really want to look for Park Terrace, the one way street that’s alongside the University Arms. Go down it the right way, and keep going where it crosses Parker Street and Parkside (otherwise you’ll end up in a bus station or a police station) and you’ll find Clarendon Street. The Clarendon Arms is on the left, a little way up.
• Turn left out of the Clarendon to head north. After a while, on the right there’s a pedestrian alley that’s possibly a continuation of Orchard Street. Google Maps has historically been very confused about the Elm Tree, and although it now has the location correct, it still won’t let me check the name of this street. I suspect someone working for Google lives there and is playing silly buggers. Anyway, turn down the pedestrian thingy, and the Elm Tree is on the left at the end. If that doesn’t work for you, take the next right on Elm Street and walk around the Elm Tree at the end.
• Leaving the Elm Tree, you may notice that the Cricketers is basically opposite you, to the south, so you should be able to work out what to do; the entrance is on the pedestrianised Melbourne Place.
• From the Cricketers, turn right and get back to Prospect Row, and head southeast. The Free Press is on the left after a bit. Unless they’ve modernised, they’re a bit stroppy about people using phones, so memorise the next bit.
• Turn left out of the Free Press. Continue to the end of Prospect Row and veer left onto Adam and Eve street, then right onto Dover Street. The Tram Depot is on the left, and looks a bit like a tram depot.
• From the Tram Depot, turn left and walk to East Road (the big busy one). Then turn left to head northeast-ish. The Duke of Cambridge is on the left, just before a KFC (which would take the edge off your curry). You can also get into the Duke of Cambridge’s back passage via Adam and Eve Street, if you prefer.
• From the East Road exit of the Duke of Cambridge, turn left past the KFC and head northeast, crossing the road opposite the Tesco. You should be approximately in line with Norfolk Street, which is convenient because you should now head east along it. the Blue Moon is on the left, just after Staffordshire Street.
• From the Blue Moon, you could return to East Road, head south, then at the corner of Parker’s Piece walk diagonally across the Reality Checkpoint to get to Regent Street. But actually you want a curry, so you shouldn’t do this. Instead, continue east along Norfolk Street to the T-junction with Gwydir Street, and turn right to head south. You will walk quite a long way, in the process passing the Alex and the Cambridge Blue; don’t worry, we’ll come back to them. Eventually you’ll reach Mill Road, where we run out of Gwydir Street (or you can cut through the Gwydir Street car park if you prefer). Turn left and cross the road, and you should find the Curry Queen almost opposite the White Swan. Once full of curry, turn left to head west along Mill Road until you get to Parker’s Piece (big grassy thing), then cut across the diagonal to reach Regent Street. Hopefully you can cope from there, because we don’t like to lose students this early in the academic year.

Saturday 19^th of October: The Regent Street Crawl

Meeting in The Grain & Hop Store at 7:00pm.

Five Four pubs visited.

• The Grain & Hop Store (previously the Avery, previously the Hog’s Head) (69 Regent Street, down an alleyway)
• The Prince Regent (91 Regent Street)
• The Old Bicycle Shop (104 Regent St, near Lensfield Road)
  — The OBS is now a reservation-only restaurant, confirming our “not a pub” assertion from last year.
• The Panton Arms (43 Panton Street, by Coronation Street)
• The Alma (26 Russell Court)

Directions:

• The Grain & Hop Store (formerly the Avery, formerly the Hogshead, etc.) is a large pub accessible from Regent Street via a small alleyway beside City Kebab. You can also enter from Parker’s Piece. Fortunately this time it’s at the end of a crawl; sometimes this pub has been in the middle of a crawl, and the two exits have caused Google Maps a lot of confusion.
• Leave the G&HS via the Regent Street exit, and turn left, away from the entrance to Downing. The Prince Regent is, astonishingly, on Regent Street, on the left. If you get to a lot of traffic lights and a church, or what the web site maintainer used to consider “the thing on the corner that goes dong” when hostelled in Lensfield Road, you’ve gone too far. Don’t stop off at the other pubs on the way or you’ll be late — we’ll get back to them. The Prince Regent is a pub; you are encouraged to get a drink. Hopefully more experienced club members will demonstrate.
• From the Prince Regent, cross Regent Street, heading in the general direction of the thing on the corner that goes dong (that is, south). The Old Bicycle Shop, which was a bicycle shop for a long time but actually only fairly recently a pub, is on the right before the traffic lights.
• Turn right out of the Old Bicycle Shop to continue along Regent Street (hopefully you’re not getting lost yet), then turn right at the junction with Lensfield Road, which is where all the traffic lights are. Walk west for a while and cross the road to the south side, walking around (or through, if you&rsqsuo;re athletic) the car park of the chemistry department. Don’t be distracted by The Tall Trees, which used to be the Snug (the Snug that was the Spread Eagle, not the one which was the Vine, which is why it has a bird on it) — it’s not a pub. If you get to the roundabout on Trumpington Street, turn back, you’ve gone much too far. Instead, turn south down Panton Street, which should be a clue to which pub is next. The Panton Arms is on the left just after Coronation Street (not on the telly); go past it and turn left to get in.
• Leaving the Panton, turn left onto Panton Street and soon after left againt to be heading east on Russell Court. The Alma is on the right. I recommend you drink at it.
• Obviously you want a curry, so head north and opposite from the Alma and from the footpath onto Coronation Mews, then turn right onto Coronation Street (not the one on TV). Head east until you hit Hills Road; don’t go into a church. Instead, turn right, which ought to get you to the Rajbelash. The bad news is that the Rajbelash (formerly the Saffron Brasserie, hence in CUTwC circles the Saffron Brassière) might be the Golpo Bengal instead, although it might still serve curry. It doesn’t do so very late, though, so probably get on with it. For your entertainment, you may wish to learn that you’re near the Raspberry Pi Foundation, but a pie will take the edge off your curry.
• Should you tire of curry, there is no hope for you, so you may as well turn left out of the Golpo Bengal to head northwest along Hills Road, passing, as it happens, where the web site maintainer’s office would be if he actually went to it. If you keep going you’ll find the thing on the corner that goes dong again, and can continue to Regent Street. Since this is where you started, hopefully you can work it out from here, although if it goes badly wrong you could cross Parker’s Piece to the police station if you really need help. But it’s probably easier to ask the porters of Downing.