CUTwC traditions

CUTwC, as befits a club with an eminent history and its Oxbridge setting, sets great store by tradition. Typically, a tradition is something that has happened (or been said) at least once. The collective history of the Club means that newcomers may be bemused by frequent references to something that a member who left a decade ago may once have said. This section is intended to provide some enlightenment when it comes to the vocabulary of CUTwC.

N.B. See also the list of tiddlywinks jargon.

1320: One of the dates of the older parts of St Botolph’s Church on Trumpington Street. Traditionally used to mean “a very long time ago”, or (in the form “since 1320”) “forever”. Particularly used whenever the Committee behaves less than impeccably: they get called the worst Committee since 1320.
Amigos: To down an entire drink (or the remains of one) in one go; also used as an imperative when needing people to finish their drinks. Sometimes a contest to see who can finish a drink first (as in the Bombardier Joogs). Pronounced “ahmeegoss”, not “ahmeegoes”.
As you would know, if you was a (real) gentleman: Porterhouse Blue-derived criticism of someone lacking some vital piece of information or etiquette from their background, in this context usually in reference to an obscure tradition (of which CUTwC has many). Skullion doesn’t actually include the word “real” in this quotation, although he does use “real gentleman” elsewhere. See NARG.
BoBo: See Bouffant Boy.
Bouffant Boy: Dr Matthew Fayers (former President), who has fluffy hair.
Can you do that?: The response to a much simpler solution replacing a complex one. Coined by Droogs when trying to get chips with a meal by a sequence of complex substitutions.
Club Scarf: The Club Scarf can be seen both in the splash image of the Club page and, on some browsers, in the background of the title on the home page (although the proportions are wrong for aesthetic reasons). The scarf is roughly 10” wide, consisting of two outer bands of 2½” that are Cambridge Blue. Next to the outer bands there are adjacent “gold” (orange-yellow) and red (saturated, slightly dark, near pot colour), each of which are roughly ½” wide. Centrally there is another 3” band of Cambridge Blue. The order of the gold and red is consistent, so the colour from one side of the scarf to the other are blue, gold, red, blue, gold, red, blue — yellow is gold on one side, red is outer on the other. The colours “wrap around” so red on the front of the scarf aligns with red on the back. Apparently the colours were chosen with Cambridge Blue to represent the University, gold as a “royal colour” (see the Silver Wink), and red “to make it look hideous”. (The web site maintainer may have yellow and red the wrong way round in this story.) “Cambridge Blue” has not been consistent between versions of the scarf; the University identity guidelines indicate Pantone 557 C, although the branding guidelines propose Pantone 7471 and refer to 557 C as “heritage” — but they do suggest it for “branded merchandise”. It’s probably a bit late to talk to the branding office. Apparently C.U.B.C. use a different Cambridge Blue from C.U. R.U.F.C. The colour is allegedly derived from the colour of Caius College — they may have an opinion. In any case, scarves are traditionally sourced from Ryder & Amies, and presumably they have on opinion on Cambridge Blue as well. Care should be taken in cleaning the scarf — as the Anne Austin Memorial Scarf shows. Q.v. the Quarter Blue.
Convention: Various drinking games have variants, described as the “inventer convention”. Many games have a Fayers convention, for example.
Crawl Czar: The person taking control (possibly by seizing ancient powers) of one or many pub crawls.
DBW: David Bradley-Williams (former President).
Doccy F: See BoBo.
Doccy H: See Harper, Phatter.
Doccies S: (Now Professor) Dr² Stewart Sage (former President), who has more than one doctorate.
Doccy T: Dr Rupert Thompson (former President). Sometimes also known as “Orry T” since he’s the University (Public) Orator. Not to be confused with the brasserie on Round Church Street.
Doesn’t it?: Traditional response to any question of the form “where’s the...” (as in soap).
Excelleg: Traditional spelling of excellent.
Factual incorrection: Telling someone they’re wrong, when in fact you are.
Fat man: Either a reprehensible individual (as in the Chris Goddard quote “Matthew, you’re just a fat man”) or used as a term of grudging admiration for, e.g., a successfully-executed difficult ’winks shot or going down with four fives in BoS; likely derived from someone who can be smug and self-satisfied in their life, for example with lifetime free access to formal halls (one might draw an analogy with a lounging lion that has a full belly). Note that this is used in a metaphorical sense and with no correlation to the weight of the individual — but one should be careful of using this to or around someone who is genuinely sensitive about their weight; NARG is probably a suitable substitute that won’t cause more than the intended amount of offence.
(Dr) Fatty: Nick Inglis, Ph.D.
Fatty Smear: Mangled version of Matthew Fayers (also consider “meaty farts”).
Fernag: Phonetic spelling of qwxcl.
Few men...: “...would have the intelligence to do that.” Traditional response to doing something extremely stupid.
Fewer: CUTwC consists largely of pedants. As such, the mis-use of “less” has been loudly corrected to “fewer” so often that it’s now traditional to yell “fewer” even if “less” would be fewer incorrect.
Finesmaster/Finesmistress: Person in charge of dictating fines, in those drinking games which require adjudication.
Harper, Phatter: Dr Alan Harper (former President), distinguishing him from Matt Harper — a fellow winker of the same vintage, who was (at the time) thinner.
Hot Green Beany (HGB): Traditional pub crawl of pubs containing trivia machines, held between the end of Michaelmas and Christmas. CUTwC normally puts winnings towards the combined curry fund, and we can sometimes pay for the papadums, if we don’t include however much money we actually put into the machines. Inadvertently named by a winker at the traditional post-crawl curry, who ordered a chicken jalfrezi, held up a chilli, and asked “what are these hot green beany things?”
Hotdog: Spelling incorrection of the surname of Anthony Horton (President 1999-2000), and hence his nickname. Often continued with the lyrics “jumping frog, Albuquerque”. Known for being truly terrible at drinking games.
Invented by Stew: Traditionally, all drinking games were invented by Stew (after he once claimed to have invented a game which he in fact did not).
It’s important to know what’s going on at all times: Doccies S’s advice on tiddlywinks strategy. Seen as ironic.
It’s never A, unless it’s A: Strategy for playing pub trivia machines.
It’s pile play like this that makes winks such an interesting game: Doccy T’s commentary on a winks introductory video.
Napkith: Deriver plural of napkin, as in (after a beer spillage) “Da mihi napkith.”
NARG: Not A Real Gentleman. A “real gentleman” is, in this (facetious) context, someone who ends up in an oxbridge college as a consequence of privilege/breeding (or money) rather than ability, and therefore does not need to work. “NARG” is a term used to indicate someone applying brain-power, excess diligence, and working hard or showing talent for their degree (and typically therefore not “fun” — or at least, not having fun at the time of the comment) — likely because they have to in order to be at oxbridge. As such, NARG is a class insult typically spouted by a sufficiently pompous upper-class twit, but since almost everyone in Cambridge these days is there because of academic prowess, it can be assumed that the insult is being made in jest (and maybe admiringly). “Narg” has been adapted to a non-academic context: by extension in a game of winks, a narg shows undue competence (sign of talent, effort or practice) — although it is also often used as a complement over a lucky outcome, as though it had been “earned”. The term “a real gentleman” is used in context by Skullion in Porterhouse Blue (whether it originated there is another matter — Skullion is not, at least initially, a Real Gentleman, but he strictly maintains and defers to social class boundaries), but the prefix “not” seems to be absent. (The web site maintainer sat through the TV adaptation of Porterhouse Blue to check. The web site maintainer is a narg, albeit not academically.)
Nazi: Used as a term of endearment to indicate that someone has done something unduly harsh (usually, an opponent has played a competent shot that has been highly detrimental to one’s position rather than sportingly letting one win). Note that global politics have evolved since this term became traditional, and we might want to be a little sensitive to those with exposure to actual nazis now.
NHIPper: The National Handicapped Individual Pairs, an ETwA tournament. Traditionaly given the “per” suffix in honour of “Nipper” — the nickname of Jon “I’ve got potential”/“five are the hairs on Nipper’s head” Williams, President 1993-1994.
Non adsumus nos oblectandi causa: We aren’t here to enjoy ourselves (q.v.) — the motto of SEPTIC; traditional admonition when on a pub crawl that we need to drink up and move to the next pub.
OUTS: Oxford University Tiddlywinks Society (when existing); occasionally Oxford Unofficial Tiddlywinks Society when they haven’t filed paperwork.
PBB: Phillip Buckham-Bonnett (former President).
Perhaps I, as...: Pretentious stepping forward (pulling rank); became traditional after Jon Mapley started an explanation on television with “Perhaps I, as national champion...”
(His Holiness) Pope Verisimilitude I: Ed Green; invoked at an AGM for reasons relating to the Constitution.
Quarter Blue: Awarded for participation in the Varsity Match against OUTS. There is an accompanying scarf (and umbrella), which is — as anyone who has seen the far-more-common half-blue can guess — three-quarters white, one quarter Cambridge Blue (assuming a 10” scarf, this means bands of 2½” white, 2½” Cambridge Blue, and 5” white). Q.v. the Club Scarf. Note: The Club’s Quarter Blue is not affiliated with the Blues Committee (or Hawks’ Club); tiddlywinks has been in consideration for a Half Blue in the past, but CUTwC felt that the traditional Quarter Blue was much more exclusive, and decided against it. OUTS have an equivalent design (
).
Qwxcl: An error/to make an error, particularly embarrassingly so. Not pronounced as it’s spelt.
Sad man: Indication of someone who has put far too much effort into something tedious or meaningless; often as a compliment. The state of this web site has been known to cause the web site maintainer to be known as a sad man, although this may be an extension of general personality. The term might fall out of favour after the terminological choices of the Trump administration.
Seal of approval: Performed with an imitation of a sea lion clapping its flippers, this is usually on of a sequency of bizarre impersionations meant to indicate approval. Others include “big hand” (waving one hand in the air) and “round of applause” (clapping while moving one’s hands in a circle), but continue to such classics as “raped ferret” (to do with artificial inducement of ovulation in captive lab animals, by impersonating a ferret with a glass rod inserted somewhere private), “chinchilla of doubt” (traditional misquote of “scintilla of doubt” about whether a shot was a good idea — expose incisors like a rodent and bring front hands up like paws need the mouth), “moose with a banana up its nose” (a banana was placed up the nose of a stuffed moose head at a Somerset Invitation; the motion is to form a banana shape with the thumb and little finger of one hand, inserted up the nose, and a moose horn with the other hand), “elephant on a motorbike” (c.f. Isadora Duncan), “parasites under the armpits” (see Dalmuti; place hands under the armpits and wriggle fingers), “sea anemone on the forehead” (the motion for Whitebait: back of hand on the forehead, fingers wriggling), “depressed manatee” (crossed arms with flippers under the armpits, looking sad), etc.
Seizing ancient powers: Taking charge of a situation in the presence of dithering, irrespective of one’s authority so to do.
SEPTIC: The Society of Ex-Presidential Tiddlywinkers In Cambridge. Formed to counter a move by the President of the time to down-play the social (or at least, drinking) aspects of CUTwC.
SiBo: See Sick Boy.
Sick Boy: Dr Patrick Driscoll (former President).
SLU: Scruffy Little Urchin. Nickname of Dr Chris Abram (former President).
Somerset Invitation: An invitation-only tournament hosted by Doccies S, initially in The Somerset Wagon (a pub run by his parents) in Chilcompton. After moving around for a few years (notably to Brussels and Norfolk), the tournament recently returned to its original setting.
(Drs) Superfatty: (Professor) Doctor² Stewart Onan Sage.
TCO: That Clumsy Oaf — (ex-President) Toby Bruce.
TGP: That Green Punch — noxious beverage traditionally provided by Stew at the freshers’ squash.
To my sure and certain knowledge...: Traditionally used when stating something with complete authority, when it might just be possible that you’re wrong. (E.g. “...nobody with the plebian name of John ever sat the throne of England”.)
Tonk: To hit something (from onomatopoeia). Apparently this term is not universal outside CUTwC.
VDG: Violent drinking game.
Viscount Goderich: Derived from nurdle-boondock-category, a term used to describe an attempt to be clever in a drinking game, followed by a moment of smugness during which one makes an error. (For example: “boondock”, “eight”, “Viscount Goderich”, “boondock”, [smugness distracts one from saying “eleven”].) Viscount Goderich was a short-serving and therefore obscure Prime Minister, whose name came up in the category of Prime Ministers. He did, however, serve nearly three times as long as Liz Truss.
Wazz: Traditional slang for urination. Hence “wazitorium” for toilet, etc.
We aren’t here to enjoy ourselves: Traditional admonition during a pub crawl, when it is time to finish drinks and move on to the next pub. See also the Latin version.
Whitebait: Someone ruling themselves out of a drinking game, usually while imbibing incurred fines. Often indicated by placing a hand on the forehead, palm outwards. Note: the aim of drinking games is to keep playing them (and victimise everyone else); the penalty for playing badly should be spending time as whitebait, watching from the side lines, not drinking beyond your capacity. There is no shame in that, and much less than in drinking more than your limits.
Withersea: Eponym of President Marc Mills, who is sensitive about the spelling of his name.
Yellow manta ray: Derived from nurdle-boondock-category, a term used to describe a trivial mistake — especially early on in a drinking game, before it’s supposed to have become challenging.