News The Club The Game Social
Drinking Games Songs Traditions Pub Crawls

The winks purity test

This test was assembled by the webmaster during Coronavirus lockdown. Score one point for every affirmative answer, then divide your final score by your age and use the resultant number to impress your friends.

Inspired by bingo, the Rice purity test and the hacker test.

Turning up

  1. Have you played a game of winks?
  2. Have you played in a winks tournament?
  3. Have you played in a national winks tournament?
  4. Have you played in an international winks tournament?
  5. Have you contested a world title?
  6. Have you played a friendly game outside a meeting?
  7. Have you arranged a winks tournament?
  8. Have you travelled across the country to play winks?
  9. Have you travelled internationally to play winks?

Success

  1. Have you won a game of winks?
  2. Have you won a local tournament?
  3. Have you won a national tournament?
  4. Have you won a world title?

Kit

  1. Do you own a squidger?
  2. Do you own more than one?
  3. Did you make your own squidger?
  4. Have you played with a currently-illegal squidger?
  5. Do you have your own set?
  6. Do you have your own practice mat?
  7. Do you have a full-sized mat?
  8. Do you have multiple mats?

Shots

  1. Have you played a successful squop?
  2. Have you subbed into a pile?
  3. Have you subbed under a flat wink?
  4. Have you potted a wink?
  5. Have you potted a wink accidentally?
  6. Have you potted a nurdled wink?
  7. Have you potted out?
  8. Have you potted out your partner?
  9. Have you potted out your opponent?
  10. Have you gone off while trying to pot?
  11. Have you Penhaligonned?
  12. Would a wink you were potting have gone off if your arm wasn't in the way?
  13. Have you scrunged?
  14. Have you docked a wink?
  15. Have you played a John Lennon Memorial Shot?
  16. Have you played a Good Shot?
  17. Have you played a successful Bristol?
  18. Have you Bristolled over a pile?
  19. Have you potted off?
  20. Have you potted more than one wink in a shot?
  21. Have you played a pile flip?
  22. Have you created a Thorpe Ring?
  23. Have you played a shot that doesn't have common name?
  24. Have people stopped the clock while you decided what to do?

Tactics

  1. Have you created an area?
  2. Have you deliberately tempted your opponents into it?
  3. Have you played slowly so your opponents had no time to turn a game around?
  4. Have you deliberately left winks in a position to impede your opponents?
  5. Have you used the pot as an impediment?
  6. Have you run at the pot because you were in a hopeless squopping game?
  7. Have you lunched an opponent to gain winks on the mat?
  8. Have you potted in order to line the pot?
  9. Have you played for a 2*?
  10. Have you turned a solid 6-1 into a 5*-2*?
  11. Have you turned a solid 6-1 into a loss by trying to pot?
  12. Have you deliberately freed your opponent's last wink and had it go wrong?
  13. Have you deliberately failed to free?
  14. Have you deliberately subbed?
  15. Have you repeatedly stopped the clock at exactly 30 seconds?

Luminaries

  1. Have you played Patrick Barrie?
  2. Have you played Alan Dean?
  3. Have you played Larry Kahn?
  4. Have you played a CUTwC novice?
  5. Have you met Bill Steen?
  6. Have you met Charles Relle?

Drinking

  1. Have you attended a winks pub crawl?
  2. Have you completed the pub crawl of all Cambridge?
  3. Have you completed one of the London crawls?
  4. Have you stayed in a pub rather than return to a winks tournament?
  5. Have you been disqualified from a tournament by staying in the pub?
  6. Have you forfeit a game by not being present?
  7. Have you been violently unwell as a consequence of fines?
  8. Have you won a CUTwC award for it?
  9. Have you incurred a fine larger than two pints?
  10. Have you been accused of a yellow manta ray?
  11. Have you been accused of a Viscount Goderich?
  12. Have you forced someone into an error in a drinking game?
  13. Have you revoked?
  14. Have you been finesmaster?
  15. Have you rolled more than 100 in pigs?
  16. Have you been fined past the cusp?
  17. Do you know three things that follow "seal of approval"?
  18. Do you know ten things that follow "seal of approval"?

Singing

  1. Do you know the ETwA anthem?
  2. Do you know the first verse of the CUTwC anthem?
  3. Do you know more than one verse of the CUTwC anthem?
  4. Do you know more than three verses of the CUTwC anthem?
  5. Do you know any other songs about winks or winkers?
  6. Have you made up a verse to a drinking song?
  7. Do you know about five or more people's fathers?

Joking

  1. Do you know the Club Joke?
  2. Do you know the Secretary's Joke?
  3. Can you finish at least three other traditional jokes?
  4. Have you told a joke at the Dinner?

Tedium

  1. Do you own a Winking World?
  2. Do you own several Winking Worlds?
  3. Do you own all the Winking Worlds?
  4. Have you written for Winking World?
  5. Have you written a tiddlywinks-related computer program?