CUTwC: SEPTIC Hold 'Em

SEPTIC Hold ’Em

CUTwC does play poker. In SEPTIC hold ’em (SEPTIC being the Society of Ex-Presidential Winkers in Cambridge), each new round must start with a raise, and two cards are placed face up in the centre before bidding continues. In Anne Austin Hold ’Em, there is a round of bidding before the first two cards are turned up, and the instigator of a new round can “check” (match the bid of a previous round, with a minimum of 1, rather than having to raise). Bids are in fifth-fingers.

More specifically, for SEPTIC hold ’em:

Each player is dealt two cards, face down.
Three cards are dealt face-up in the middle of the table.
Starting with the player to the left of the dealer, players may look at their cards and, in turn, say a bid number, which must be at least and at least the highest bid number stated so far — or the player may fold, in which case the player drinks the fine of the largest bid that the player agreed to (with a minimum of one). When agreeing with the previously-stated bid, this is pronounced as “see” [the big number]; there is a tradition of miming an explosion for “see four” and emulating riding an electric tricycle for “see five”.
Once all players have agreed on a bid (it has “gone round”), a new card is exposed, and the bidding process begins again, with a minimum bid of the minimum agreed in the previous round, plus one.
Once all players have agreed on a bid (it has “gone round”), a final card is exposed, and the bidding process begins again, with a minimum bid of the minimum agreed in the previous round, plus one.
After the final bid is agreed, the remaining players (in order) reveal their cards, and state their best poker hand, using any five of the five cards in the centre of the table and the two in their hand. Any player still in but not winning drinks a fine for the current bid.
Poker hands, in order of decreasing strength, are:
- Straight flush
- Four of a kind
- Full house (three numerically matched, two numerically matched)
- Flush (5 cards of the same suit)
- Straight (5 cards in increasing order)
- Three of a kind
- Two pairs
- One pair
- High card
Ties are broken by the highest card included, decreasing through the cards if needed, and then by Yogic order (a pair of aces, club and heart, beats a pair of aces, spade and diamond). “Natural” results beat the same hand using a joker. There is some pride in a “session worst” — 2,3,4,5,7 (“seven high”) being a good example.