| Have a preferred colour which you always play better as [sic] | Been to more pub crawls in a term than weekly meetings | Replied-to-all on a weekly email to make a pedantic correction | Bragged about your top 100 world ranking | Potted out in round 5 |
| Accidentally potted when it was not the optimum move | Ranted about the lesser quality of York mats | Penhalligoned [sic] during your first meeting | Corrected "world ranking" to "world rating" | Broken down in one of TCO's cars |
| Incorrectly corrected 'less' to 'fewer' | Procrastinated by reading the entire constitution | Lost to Patrick | Tried to convince an Oxford friend to form a Varsity team | Attended a winks tournament that wasn't in Cambridge |
| Ranted about the urgent need for anti-scrunge pots | Not made it back to a NHIPper after lunch | Won by being partnered with Patrick | Ran unopposed for a committee position | Victimised James at a Relle |
| Don't remember the latter half of any club dinner | Beat someone much more experienced than you in your first term and crushed their soul | Proposed an unsuccessful amendment tot he constitution at an AGM | Unironically used more than one squidger in a match | Pretended to be on the committee just to book a room for weekly meetings |